Welcome to the June 2015 Carnival of Natural Parenting: Talking to Yourself
This post was written for inclusion in the monthly Carnival of Natural Parenting hosted by Code Name: Mama and Hobo Mama. This month our participants have written letters to themselves. Please read to the end to find a list of links to the other carnival participants.
Dear Pre-Parenthood me,
Below is some helpful advice about what is in store for you in the first five years of parenthood. It will serve you well as you enter the most exciting, rewarding, challenging and beautiful journey you are ever likely to make in this lifetime;
– believe in the power of yourself as a strong woman and mother. You are doing the most amazing job anyone could ever do, raising the next generation. You know being a stay at home mum when your children are young is right for you, regardless of its status in our society. Be proud and stand tall.
– trust your intuition when you are birthing your first-born son. Demand the right to be both active and left alone in labour, to be monitored safely from a distance. Be strong and proud even when this birth goes terribly wrong, far from how you envisaged it. Write and talk as a form of therapy to help you mourn the loss of a natural birth. Believe that next time around you are capable of birthing naturally, because you are. You achieve this almost three years later, your daughter born naturally at home. By becoming in-tune with all mothers, spanning the millennia, you trust in your body’s ability to birth, blocking all non-constructive chatter from reaching your ears. This will only contaminate you. Congratulate yourself in this second birth, for you have proved that you could do it, your inner strength won. You know you are capable of doing so again, if you so wish.
– mother through breastfeeding. Nothing could be simpler, but more challenging at first in our culture. Be a confident, open, proud nurser who has the strength to develop her own nursing style, feed in public with your head held high, whilst gathering experienced, full-term nursers around you. Join and attend La Leche mother-to-mother breastfeeding support. Rise above your cultures bottle-feeding culture. Advocate and normalise breastfeeding. You will have nursed every single day by the time your first-born is five years old, with no end in sight. Nursing is a way of life for you and your children. Let it remain that way as long as this feels right for you all.
– give time to your children. This may sound simple, but it can be difficult in our busy lives. Cultivate mindfulness in your actions, slowing down, stopping, getting on their level, empathising, listening, living in the moment, feeling the joy in that moment for what it is: yes I am smelling my daughter’s skin, I am walking with her in the sling in the woods, I am basking in my son’s smile, I am hearing him give me another long account about a building. It is true that our children grow so fast, too fast, so do not rush it, savour it. Life with your young children is fleeting and precious.
– turn off or leave your phone and the internet behind once in awhile. Be vigilant about this. Stay connected to your children, not to the net. It is virtual, whilst your children are real.
– give elimination communication a go, it will amaze, surprise and delight you. It will help put you further in tune with your daughter. Trust you are able to read her signs and that she is able to communicate to you. By the time she is eighteen months old, she is dry day and night. Continue reading Talking to Myself; Dear pre-parenthood me